Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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