These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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