but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
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Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
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seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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