dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
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you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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