Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
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Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
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You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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