Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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