So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I want a musical about memes.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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