getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize