i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize