Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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