i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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