she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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