I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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