i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize