apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize