I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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