Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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