glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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