how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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