She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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