I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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