we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize