Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
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Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
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Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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