i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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