I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
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the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
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Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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