Me too!
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize