Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
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I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
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Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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