Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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