shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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