Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize