then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize