woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize