1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Randomize