All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
as a side note pls kill me
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