I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
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oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
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You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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