that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize