Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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