Ambien. No doubt about it.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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