how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
try to milk me bitch
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize