dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize