so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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