we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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