how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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