Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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