i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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