Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
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Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
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i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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