i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
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I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
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The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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