Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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