just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize