Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
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had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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